


Fearful Symmetry

by Vendetta23



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, BDSM, BDSM Scene Negotiation, Bit Gag, Boot Worship, Check-ins with Kylo, Consensual, Crying, Degradation, Dom Hux, Dom/sub, Force collars, Happy ending despite the angst, Heavy Bondage, Hogtie, Humiliation, Hux is a responsible dom, Hux steps on Kylo with his shinny boots of course, Loss of Soul, Love, M/M, Manhandling, Mentions of A+ parenting I'm looking at you Brendol, Mentions of past abuse, Mentions of past torture by Snoke's hands, Mittens - Freeform, Muzzle, Orgasm Delay, Personal demons and ghosts and such, Smut with psychological exploration of the characters, Sub Kylo, That being my own don't worry, Trust Kink, Verbal Abuse, Wanting to be a good boy, abandonment play, drool, straightjacket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 10:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18140936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vendetta23/pseuds/Vendetta23
Summary: " “I don’t need to be a mind reader to see what you want to do to me” Hux enlaced his fingers on Kylo’s hair and pulled his head back “I just need to look at those flushed cheeks”. He then raised his right foot and nudged the tip of his boot on the bulge on Kylo’s pants. The kneeled down man let out a whimper, he had started to beg. “And to feel this painfully hard cock” he let go of Kylo’s dark locks and watched his head slope down, causing a great amount of drool to pour from his mouth.(...)It was an obsessive repetition, a cyclic haunting, but that’s what ghosts do to a person."





	Fearful Symmetry

_Hands are something that can be taught_  
_If they maim and claw and break and ruin_  
_The blood they draw is easy to see_  
_The strings are not._

 _It is the same with tongues_  
_And words once shapeless_  
_Neither bad or good_  
_Have their edges sharpened_  
_So that cut and slice_  
_Is all they can do._

 _We can see who says them_  
_But not who forces them to._

 _The seed of madness planted through whispers_  
_Blossoms into a red rose in flames_  
_And if ripping its roots out is not bravery_  
_Then also love is not worth of its name._

 _When all you’ve known is treachery_  
_At least be ended heavenly_  
_A life full of shame._  
_He ignites it_  
_And fulfills his destiny_  
_Rights the wrongs of his ways_  
_And kills his true enemy._

 

“You’re late” Hux said, not turning his chair around to see the man who just walked into his chambers.

Kylo knew he had arrived ten minutes after the time Hux had instructed him to be on his quarters, he did so on purpose. Just as he had also spent the last two weeks failing to follow simple orders from the General here and there, minor things that he knew would get on the other man’s nerves. Like not being completely silent or sitting still when Hux instructed him to do so while he went through his paperwork. Like stealing little kisses from Hux while the man was asserting his authority on particularly demanding scenes. Or nudging him with his nose to wake him up in the middle of the night just to pretend to be fast asleep when Hux asked if everything was alright.

Kylo knew the General had been working nonstop for the past few weeks to redact a document that would bring some major technical changes to the stormtroopers training program, which was due for today. Hux, on his turn, knew Kylo was misbehaving on purpose. It was part of their dynamic that the knight needed Hux to correct his behavior, even if regarding something Kylo was trained to do perfectly well on his own. Given the importance of that night to the General, Kylo must be waiting for something very elaborate to put him in his place for good.

And Hux was more than delighted to give that to him.

“I’m s-”

“Don’t talk” Hux interrupted, leaving Kylo waiting by the door for any instructions. But the General acted as if he had forgotten about him, and kept on working on his desk. The room was dim, there was only one small lamp casting light over the papers Hux had spread throughout his desk. The General could feel the hesitation hanging oppressively on the air above them, but he knew he had to wait.

Kylo was starting to ask himself if he had made the right choice by following up on his plan. He didn’t really mean to question Hux’s authority, he hoped the General knew that. But he needed this, the provocation, the punishment, and the absolution that followed. Both men had been at it for months, and, to Kylo’s surprise, they were more than just compatible. Kylo needed to feel cleansed, and Hux needed to lead. Out of what had been a practical arrangement at first, something far deeper slipped through the cracks, blossomed out of control. Now, Kylo just hoped he had not fucked it all up.

“I’m really sorry” Kylo forced the words out of his mouth before Hux could stop him. All he wanted at that point was for Hux to turn his chair around to face him, acknowledge him, but he wondered if he could bear to see the look of disappointment on the General’s face. Kylo’s anxiety began to pile up inside him, making him lose control over his breathing. He could have followed instructions, instead, he chose not to over and over again in hopes of getting something out of that, he didn’t even remember what now.

Kylo went down on his knees where he stood, trying to show Hux he could be good.

“I know you are” Hux quickly understood what was happening, Kylo’s rapid and shaky breaths told him exactly which state of mind the knight was slipping into. Hux had witnessed Kylo spiraling down many times and knew he had to step in immediately to take control over the situation. “I know that you are as much as I know you will do anything I order you to do to fix your mess”  

With that, Kylo, who had his eyes glued to the floor, gave a quick glance up. He was glad to hear the firm tone of Hux’s voice, not the heavy and hoarse one from when the General was signaling Kylo that he was exhausted and the knight had truly fucked up. No, Hux was starting the scene, sharply shutting out everything else until it was only this room that existed, and both the men in it.

Hux rose from his chair after setting a carefully organized pile of paper aside. He picked up both his gloves from the desk and slowly slid them back on his hands. Even months of discipline and learning to be patient still didn’t help Kylo to control his eagerness when he saw Hux like that, taking his time to get into character, deep in thought and fixing his posture so that he could project all his authority and demand complete silence.

Hux had learned still as a child to appear menacing. His posture was always erect, shoulders pulled back, chin up. He had invested all he had in this character in hopes that his father would stop beating him up, pushing him around. He wanted to show the old man that, the next time he laid a hand on him, the “weak boy” would _bite back_.

But that was a character, not a person, and keeping up the façade exhausted Hux. He did it because he absolutely _needed_ to. It took him a long time to be able to step out of the role. Hux wasn’t like this around Kylo anymore, not normally, when they were not having that game of theirs. But, when they were indeed playing, the role of The General was not debilitating to Hux, it didn’t drain him down to the bone. When he tried to rule the world, Hux was met with nothing but disrespect. But with Kylo… Hux had him tied to the end of a _leash_.

Kylo was aware he wasn’t simply obeying the General, that there were deeper things at play during their time together. He was allowing Hux to exert the control he so much felt he lacked. While being so pushed around by Snoke and slowed down by bureaucracy, Hux had _one_ man he could control – one that was thoroughly trained even though he still had his fits of brattiness -, and, so, the rest of his life fell into place.

Kylo had his eyes on the floor when he saw a pair of boots shinning under his nose. He took a deep, silent breath, and waited.

“What is your first instinct when seeing my boots so close to your muzzle?” Kylo flinched at the way Hux was calling his features. The knight could already feel his posture crumbling under the scrutiny of the General, his shoulders retracting and his back lowering just from knowing he was being observed by Hux from above.

“To kiss them” Kylo murmured, trying to hide the desire building up on his throat, making it hard to breathe. He felt his head bow down a little, at this point he could barely disguise how badly he needed to touch Hux in some way and show the General how desperate he was to make up for what he had done. Kylo imagined himself kissing and gliding his tongue over the sparkling clean boots, _please tell me how to be good for you_.

But Hux turned on his heels and walked over his cabinet on the other side of the room, leaving Kylo panting slightly, suddenly aware of the pain and discomfort from being knees down on the hard ebony floor.

“To kiss them” Hux repeated after Kylo, savoring the words that settled heavily over his tongue, _so full of meaning_ “You would like to do that, wouldn’t you?”. Hux opened one of his drawers.

“Eyes on the floor” he reminded Kylo, who hadn’t even thought about lifting his gaze “And hands behind your back” Kylo immediately clasped his hands on the small of his back, firmly gripping lis left wrist as if afraid he was going to fail to keep them there.

Hux certainly would love the sight of Kylo drooling all over his happabore leather boots. He had grown found of the knight’s sloppiness, which Kylo did on purpose as a way of degrading himself to the position of a common beast, of a wild animal which had been stripped of everything that resembled a man. Hux’s role, as he understood it, was to show Kylo how to restore his humanity. The General guided him through that process by inflicting on Kylo’s skin and mind the pain that would forgive his past mistakes.

It was already clear to Hux, from seeing Kylo on a daily basis, that he seemed to carry the weight of an entire galaxy on his shoulders. But after they came together, through the particular things Kylo asked from him, Hux realized he never truly understood how much the man was _haunted_.

“But I won’t allow you to do that right now” Hux heart a faint weep coming from behind him, the telltale tone of surrender on Kylo’s low whimpers denounced that the man had surrendered to his role. The General knew Kylo needed to worship him, Hux had taken a long time to admit he so much desired that too. The tricky part was, if he commanded Kylo to take care of him, if he _let_ him do that, it would all be over soon, leaving them both unfulfilled. Kylo would be allowed to find the humanity that had many times so violently been snatched out of him – often by his own design – it would all be too quick to be truly _deserved_. Through the gentle kissing and touching of Hux’s body, he would make it all right again, and Hux would be left trembling from such care, all his psychological walls torn down – as was always the case.

Hux shook his head slightly. No, that’s not what both of them need tonight. It would not be meaningful at all if Kylo didn’t do it like they usually did on a scene. He had to _earn_ it.

The General was soon towering over Kylo’s collapsed form again. The man down by his feet was making a visible effort to control his breathing, and that was exactly what Hux needed from him right now. After all the endless forms and sleepless nights that won him no recognition from his superiors whatsoever, Hux needed to feel worthy of the great lengths that Kylo went to please him and to display the self-control the General had taught him.

“Open your mouth” Hux ordered, producing a black bit gag from behind him.

Kylo looked up and locked eyes with Hux for the first time that night. His gaze didn’t display any spark of confusion or resistance. The General was delighted to see the man so naturally slip into his role. It told Hux something he wanted to know, that Kylo was completely confident in his ability to lead him for that time, and to give Kylo what he needed, never more than he was willing to take.

In the beginning of their arrangement, Hux had foreseen that Kylo would be a difficult person to dominate, that he would have to drag the knight kicking and screaming down to his knees, if that’s what Kylo wanted. Surprisingly, that was proven untrue. When it was just the two of them, Kylo was loving and extremely docile. If Hux could show the other man there was a method to what he was doing, that every task and every punishment were fair and would be rewarding for both, Kylo surrendered readily and completely. His fits of rage were reserved to the outside of those four walls, where it was chaotic and _unstructured_.

But, still, Kylo needed to be purified of that rabid animal of his.

“You will not tilt your head back nor look at the floor, eyes up front” Hux said while strapping the bit to Kylo’s head, making it dig deep inside his mouth so that his jaw and the corners of his stretched lips would soon begin to ache. He is used to Kylo trying to lift his head to make swallowing his drool easier or let his head down so that his saliva would drip directly on the floor. That was not the outcome Hux desired. By keeping Kylo’s head straight, the drool would come down his chin, neck, and would soak the collar of his top and drip on his tights. That was what Hux wanted to see, and how Kylo’s cheeks reddened from the humiliation.

“I won’t let you talk, I won’t let you move, you lost the right to do that when you disobeyed me purposely. I have to deliver this project tonight, and I won’t let you behave like a fucking animal and disrupting my work” Hux said as he wrapped his fingers around Kylo’s jaw, looking right into the man’s eyes. Kylo let out a strangled moan, averting Hux’s gaze from the shame for his behavior and for being so turned on by that night’s prospect. Hux hardened his grip on Kylo’s face so he would look at him again.

“Tell me” Hux demanded. Kylo snapped his fingers behind his back once. They were still good. “Listen to me. Snapping your fingers won’t work for what I have planned for tonight. We’ll do the eyes this time, same as the fingers, one blink for yes, two for no, you know what to do to get my attention. Are we clear?” one snap came from Kylo’s back. Hux knew the man to be vocal during scenes, grunting and moaning softly all the time. But, if something was wrong, Kylo let him know on the spot. And Kylo was _loud_.

Just as Hux was taking his hand from Kylo’s face, the drool began to drip over the knight’s lower lips. Kylo shivered slightly, feeling himself sink into his rightful place. _On his knees_. Hux have him a mischievous smirk and turned once again to his cabinet.

As the general fumbled around his very impressive collection of toys and gear, Kylo closed his eyes. He felt the now familiar feeling of calmness engulf him. Just like pain, it kept him grounded. Hux had been the one to show that to him, that it was possible just to _be_ , a concept with which Kylo struggled for most of his life.

He felt walking around in darkness on their first times together, groping blindly at anything he would deem familiar, but his hands always returned empty. Worse was when Kylo felt hurt, when he pretended he didn’t understand the reason behind a punishment, when he didn’t want to _let go_.

Change was very hard, that was something Hux had taught him too. But there they were,  for the first time in his life Kylo let his head fall on a lover’s lap and was able to stop the thoughts that ruled over him, told him to hurt himself and others. Sure, it was hard, but it changed _something_ in him.

“Kylo, posture” Hux touched Kylo’s chin gently, tipping it up. He wasn’t apprehending him, that was just a reminder. Kylo opened his eyes and corrected himself, Hux knew the knight must have dozed off for a bit, something he did more frequently as they did more of those scenes. He always wondered what was on Kylo’s mind during those times when he appeared the most relaxed.

“As much as I love the sight of you kneeling before me, I have to teach you a lesson” Hux said while standing before Kylo, holding a 5-meter piece of black rope. Kylo glanced up, his eyes two burning flames “Raise your hips, I need access to your ankles”

Kylo did just as ordered, and so his face came inches from the General’s crotch. His breathing turned heavy, the drool became thicker as he wrapped his tongue around the bit gag, trying to get his mouth to work on _something_ to compensate for the lack of human touch. Kylo wanted to grab Hux by his tights, pull his pants down and fill his mouth with his lover’s cock, to feel its warmness throbbing against the inside of his cheeks. Hux just stood there, having pleasure from the knowledge that Kylo wasn’t allowed to do any of those things.

“I don’t need to be a mind reader to see what you want to do to me” Hux enlaced his fingers on Kylo’s hair and pulled his head back “I just need to look at those flushed cheeks”. He then raised his right foot and nudged the tip of his boot on the bulge on Kylo’s pants. The kneeled down man let out a whimper, _he had started to beg_. “And to feel this painfully hard cock” he let go of Kylo’s dark locks and watched his head slope down, causing a great amount of drool to pour from his mouth.

It took so little to make Kylo feel completely defenseless. The man was already struggling to stop shaking, to be good and still for Hux.

“Now, for the ankles” the General said as he held one tip of the rope and let the rest fall heavily on the floor right in front of Kylo. He went around the man and went down on one knee for support, never lowering himself to Kylo’s position. The General began to loop the rough fabric around the knight’s ankles, making it slide against the man’s exposed skin right above his shoes, giving him the delicious stingy feeling of rope burn Hux knew he loved so much. Pain was not tonight’s objective, so that was all Kylo was getting.

“I didn’t want to use a soft cotton rope tonight, I’m sure you can guess why” Kylo knew better than to make a sound in response “These I took from the hangar, filthy place, but I went to fetch them just for you. These ones will really hold you down” he proved his point by tightening the loops as much as he could without actually hurting Kylo and finishing up the knot that bound his angles together.

As soon as Hux stood up to grab something else from the cabinet, Kylo tugged slightly at his bounds, exhaling softly when he felt how secure they were.

Hux came back with another length of black rope and two small sacks Kylo couldn’t identify. Hux did the same thing to his tights, securing them together firmly. The pressure against the skin on Kylo’s legs made his blood rush to the bottom half of his body, causing him to feel his cock even more full, what he thought would be impossible. His erection pressed hard against his tight pants, his foreskin so sensitive it hurt.

That’s probably why Hux didn’t order him to remove any of his clothes, they only enhanced the feeling of being trapped inside his own body.

“You know what are these, Kylo?” Hux stood once again in front of him, he held the two little sacks with the tip of his fingers, making them bounce slightly in the same way he was making Kylo a puppet of his will which danced according to which strings Hux’s fingers pulled. Kylo shook his head slowly, not taking his eyes off the novelties. “These are mittens. They’ll stop you from fidgeting around your binds” the General said simply, once again moving to Kylo’s back.

If Kylo hadn’t been already familiar with that as part of their dynamic, his heart would have sunk. Hands were key to Kylo, Hux knew that very well. They had done so much _damage_. They were trained to maim and kill and rip apart everything Kylo held dear, Snoke made sure of that. Those were the hands that had betrayed him over and over, those were the hands that killed his father. So, Kylo had the aching feeling that he shouldn’t be trusted with them.

He was really surprised the first time the General asked him to be touched. In Kylo’s mind, he believed Hux would want him to keep his hands to himself every time they were together. But Kylo was weak, and one day he would want to caress his lover’s cheeks and hold him by his tights, and Hux would turn to him with pity in his eyes and say:

_“But Kylo, these are not hands, they are claws. So I have to keep them bound, you see? Will I be one of the things you destroy?”_

Kylo was sure that this was what would happen, he kept playing it over and over in his head, and when it happened, it would kill him.

But it never did. Hux’s exact words where:

_“Kylo, touch me. Kylo. Please. What are you so afraid of?”_

Kylo’s response was a strangled mess:

_“Myself”_

But Hux understood. Yet, it didn’t feel right to be free to explore Hux’s body, it felt unnatural and _undeserved_. Hux came up with solutions to this, and those were incorporated to their play. It was one more thing Kylo had to _earn_ , the thing Kylo wanted more than anything when they were in each other’s arms, the right to make Hux _feel good_.

Kylo balled his hands into fists as Hux was pulling the hard leather over them. Once more, his agency removed, he had to go over the things that proved him deserving of his hands once again. Kylo needed the repetition, that ritual which brought order and peace to his mind. He felt the mittens tightening over his fingers and the straps being fasten around his wrists, unyielding when he tried to unbend his fingers even the slightest.

“Now you’ll have to behave” Hux whispered on Kylo’s ear, brushing his lips softly against his locks, watching them wave weakly under the warm breath that came out of his mouth. “I have something planned for tonight that we never did before” the General gripped around Kylo’s jaw to turn it slightly to the side, so he could see the man’s profile from behind. Hux felt his cock stiffen up when his gloved fingers slid against the drool dripping from the man’s chin.

“I had a brilliant idea during my inspection to the medbay a few days ago. Such inspections are below me, as you might know it, but you gave me no choice when you ripped off the med droid’s head and broke some valuable equipment with your own _fists_ ” Hux traced one finger down the deep scar that cut through Kylo’s face, he felt the man trembling under his touch, _he didn’t let anyone heal him_ “Someone had to assess the damage”

 _Damage_. The word echoed in Kylo’s mind. _No, I promise, no more damage_.

“I caught a glimpse of something very interesting there, something used to contain those who can’t control themselves” Kylo’s eyes went wide “If you are going to behave like an animal, I _will_ treat you like one” was Hux’s final sentence before he got up and went to his cabinet, retrieving a black leather straightjacket and exhibiting it to Kylo, a look of triumph on his face as he watched the knight’s conflicted expression. The General knew Kylo would love the imposed stillness the gear would give him while feeling ashamed by how much he _wanted it_ at the same time.

Kylo felt his eyes moisture, _Hux was so good to him_. He shook his head feebly, the same old antagonistic thoughts at war inside his mind:

_Yes, Hux, please, give it to me._

_No, Hux, this is really not necessary, I’ll be good, please believe me, I’ll be good._

The heavy metal buckles of the jacket rattled against each other when Hux walked over to Kylo and looked him in the eyes.

“Tell me” he demanded.

Kylo blinked once, and a single tear went down his cheeks, following the path carved by his scar.

“Good” Hux gave a quick smile of reassurance before slipping back on his mask of unaffectedness. If there was something that Kylo didn’t make him feel, was unaffected.

“Arms by your sides” Hux ordered, seeing Kylo hesitate from taking his wrists from his back “Slowly” he added, wanting to watch the other man become mindful of his usually brisk movements and the extent to which the General controlled his body. Hux let out a grin, inclining himself forward to grab one of Kylo’s wrists.

“I’ll be strapping your arms to your back, not to your front, that’ll work better with what I have in mind” Kylo gave him a small nod and closed his eyes. He felt both his arms being slid inside the jacket’s long sleeves, his skin brushing against the rugged fabric, then came the weight of the gear over his shoulders. Kylo listened to Hux working on the straps that went across his chest, since the jacket was backwards, not opening his eyes while they were fastened one by one, like a tight hug around his torso. Kylo’s heartbeat slowed down, his anxiousness to know what was going to be done to him subsiding. Through the warmness on his flushed cheeks and the earthy smell of leather, he let himself sink deep within, concentrating on Hux’s breathing just inches from his face and knowing his lover would be right there with him if he descended too much and encountered his familiar darkness.

The final pull on the straps broke Kylo free of his spell. He struggled minutely against the sleeves that pinned his bent arms to his lower back and connected at the front, but he couldn’t even pull his members apart as some sort of belt was also tied around them. He groaned, not even allowed to move his fingers inside the sleeves because of the mittens. Kylo looked up to Hux standing before him with his arms crossed against his chest, a sly smile parting his rosy lips slightly.

The General had a beautiful view from above. Kylo tested his binds, twisting his shoulders to find some room for movement but finding none. He was panting now, his wet disarranged hair falling over his face, looking up to Hux with a deep dark gaze that displayed a defiance that was quickly subdued as the extent of his confinement downed on him. He tried to speak but only animalistic, wet sounds came out, the corners of his mouth were already reddened by the friction against the bit gag. Hux felt himself leak inside his trousers.

“Are you trying to _bark_?” Kylo’s cheeks became almost scarlet “I have just the thing for animals like yourself” the General turned on his heels, proceeding towards a separate drawer on his cabinet, one that contained something special. Upon opening it, he touched the gear with the tip of his fingers, taking his time to process how he felt about being allowed to have so much power over someone he loved.

_You don’t deserve this._

He shoved that thought in a dark corner of his mind. Hux thought of the day he was given command over a group of children turned relentless soldiers. There was nothing they wouldn’t obey, as it was proven by their capacity to turn against each order after a mere couple words uttered by Hux. He was a child as well, back then, a child terrified while watching the Empire collapse before his eyes, almost wetting himself at the thought of losing all structure he had in his life. But those children… he _ruled_ over them. Little Armitage had been given a little power, and he became ruthless and _cruel_.

His father had taught him well. When you have your fingers wrapped around a fragile thing, such as your son, you _crush_ it.  

That night wasn’t about that.

And not any other nights when he was with Kylo. Even before, when all there was between them was an objective arrangement, Hux found himself motionless mid-scene, asking himself if he had gone too far, if he had hit Kylo too hard, having constant check-ins to assure himself Kylo really wanted this and Hux wasn’t being carried away by some power trip. Hux struggled to believe that Kylo – whose screams could be heard all over The Finalizer when he had to report something Snoke didn’t want to hear – had chosen him of all people to take care of him in such a vulnerable state. Hux was equally appalled when he realized that, in Kylo’s eyes, he was someone who deserved to be taken care of as well.

_“Me? The rabid cur?”_

Hux blinked, taking the heavy muzzle out of the drawer and hanging it right in front of Kylo’s dazed features. The General took hold of Kylo’s jaw.

_You crush it._

And printed a kiss right below Kylo’s right eye. The man moaned softly, nudging his nose against Hux’s cheek. The General allowed it, letting them share a brief moment of affection that signaled that everything was okay before continuing the scene. Hux straightened his back and made his disapproving frown return while wiping a little bit of drool that got on his face with his gloved hand.

“I need absolute silence to continue my work, and I know that if I were to order you to be quiet, you would disappoint me. _Again_ ” Hux started to undo the straps that held the bit gag in Kylo’s mouth “I will take this off just to put the muzzle on, not a sound, understand? You lost your right to speak” Kylo gave a hurtful sound from deep inside his throat, but did not say a word when Hux removed the gag, wanting desperately to at least show the General he wanted very hard to prove he could behave again. Kylo heard a cracking sound upon shutting his jaw, trying to relieve a bit of the tension before the muzzle was put on him.

“Open up for me. There is a gag attached to it, not as big as the bit gag, but it has a weight that will hold down your tongue as it fills your mouth”

It was humiliating, not being allowed to form words, Kylo would only be able to growl and howl like a savage creature. He wanted to hold Hux, but the mittens held his fingers down. He wanted to take him on his arms, but they were tied to his back, and the weight that just settled over his tongue prevented him from telling Hux that he loved him.

_In shackles, where you belong._

It wasn’t so much about proving to Hux he could be good as it was about proving it to himself. Kylo relaxed his jaw, accommodating the gag and letting it fill his mouth. The front piece of the muzzle started under his nose and went down his chin, enveloping his jaw almost entirely and pressing against his lips. It felt as if he was having his face held by a pair of hands, it instilled in him a sense of security. Two thin straps went around his nose and up his face, connecting at the top with the rest, that bucked up at the back of his head. When Hux had finished fastening all of them, he adjusted their tightness so that Kylo’s jaw was locked shut around the gag and he couldn’t move his lips against the front piece, which was wet and sticky from the drool gathered around his mouth.

“So now you can’t _bite_ ” Hux sneered.

_I won’t._

“That’s the only way to treat you, Kylo, like the fucking _beast_ that you are” Hux tugged at the straightjacket and Kylo’s nostrils flared “There’s _only_ rage inside you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or, even worse, fool you into thinking you are capable of _love_ ”

Each one of those words had been previously discussed and agreed upon. Hux, who knew their weight on Kylo, studied the other man’s eyes, treading carefully.

“Did you think I would allow those blood-stained hands anywhere near me?” the General scoffed, Kylo’s distressed eyes began to water, his breathing began to shake. Hux pulled at the jacket more strongly, making Kylo lose his balance and fall on his side while shielding the man’s head with his other hand to prevent it from hitting the floor.

The General then rose up and put his foot to Kylo’s face, pressing down on it and watching the knight squirm and sob under his boot.

“Filthy _dog_ ” Hux spat “Which thinks it can be _human_ ”

The General retracted his leg, going to retrieve the last two things from his cabinet. He was soon back with a belt and a metal collar clasped on his hands. Kylo gave a jolt with his head, trying to get his plastered hair off his eyes, blinking away the tears that smudged his sight. Hux grabbed him by his arm and rolled him belly-down on the floor, then reached for Kylo’s ankles to bring them up, bending his legs.

“If you keep still, maybe I can be convinced those hands can do more than hurt” Hux enlaced the already bound ankles with the belt and tied them to Kylo’s arms, then pulling it so that the hogtie forced the man’s body into an arch, the General heard a muffled grunt. “Maybe I can see that that mouth can do more than wound” Hux hunched down above Kylo’s head, removing one glove and sinking warm fingers into the knight’s hair. Kylo trembled under his touch, so starved of contact.

“Prove that to me and I’ll think about letting you take my cock in your mouth” the General whispered softly “And letting you inside me. Would you like that?”

_Please, I will take care of you, I’ll make you feel so good._

But Kylo couldn’t even mumble the words. He whimpered as Hux took his hand off him, his guiding light a little farther away but never completely fading, never ceasing to watch over him.

_I’ll show you._

“So be good for me while I finish my work. And then we’ll see…”

It is the way it is. Kylo needed to achieve his redemption again and again, and Hux was the only one who could grant it to him. It was an obsessive repetition, a cyclic haunting, but that’s what ghosts do to a person.

Then, came the collar. Hux slid one end below Kylo’s chin and closed it around his neck. The metal was cold against his skin and, when Kylo heard the low beep of the lock being activated, he sensed the hollow feeling of being completely shut off from the Force.

That never ceased to be a touching moment for both men. They had previously agreed that the Force was prohibited during their plays, but that was a powerful advantage Kylo had over Hux and, with it, the knight’s bounds were no more than psychological ones, even though that in no way diminished Hux’s power over him. The collar had only recently been introduced to their scenes, it was a symbol of the profound trust they shared, a bound neither of them imagined they would ever be able to have with someone else.

Kylo had never thought someone to be incapable of hurting him, and Hux would never have believed someone would willingly give him the power to do it.

Hux laid down on the floor next to Kylo, placing his head just inches from the knight. Kylo made no move to get closer, the General was pleased to note, the man was trying very hard to be still and he knew it. Kylo’s eyes danced around Hux’s face, his fiery hair, his bottomless eyes. Kylo could get lost for hours inside those eyes, they were an abyss and he would stand too close to its edge.

Both men laid there until their breathing had slowed down, just being.

“I’ll go back to work now” Hux planted a kiss over the muzzle’s front piece. As he went back to his chair, pretending to be oblivious to Kylo’s presence, the knight closed his eyes and let still waters claim him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Kylo” Hux called to him. The man wasn’t sleeping, he was merely diving too deep within himself, having no option to do anything else. Kylo had been afraid of that forced stillness, he didn’t know whether he would be able to come back from it and what horrible things he would come across. Down he went and up he came again to Hux’s call. Any darkness he found in his path had him as a mere observer, he wasn’t affected by it, cursed by its touch. He came and went unaffected. Hux was the only thing that could truly mark him. Kylo opened his eyes.

“I’ll get this to Phasma” the General held a thick stack of papers on his hand “Perhaps I’ll check if things are running smoothly in the control room” of course they were, _he_ was in charge after all “Or maybe I’ll just go over all of this with Phasma, item by item” Hux leafed through the pages of his program, it was immense. Kylo struggled to hold in a whimper of dissatisfaction, he was trying very hard, but the waiting was getting to him.

“I am a busy man, Kylo, I’m sure you’ll forgive me if I just forgot you here” Hux was making himself sound absent-minded and frivolous. That made Kylo tug at his binds, suddenly aware of the sharp pain on his lower back from his arched position “Already impatient? I’m worried you won’t be able to wait until I come back, I worry you’ll misbehave” Kylo suddenly stopped struggling, and Hux couldn’t hide a smile twitching the corner of his mouth “Prove me wrong, then” he shrugged.

Kylo heard the soft beep of the Force collar again, the metal circle opened with a click and Hux made no comments on it as he was taking it off and setting it aside. He would never leave Kylo alone and completely defenseless. If something was wrong, Kylo would be able to free himself in a heartbeat, or at least reach out to Hux with the Force and call him back.

“Tell me” Hux pulled Kylo’s hair back slightly, exposing his neck and watching the knight’s throat moving as he swallowed. Kylo checked for any tingling sensation on his extremities. Finally, he blinked once and Hux let go “Good”

The next sound Kylo heard came from behind him, the automatic door to Hux’s quarters was opened and the General walked out.

“Don’t go anywhere” Hux teased as he turned the lights off and the door slid shut.

Kylo was left behind in the dark with only the memory of Hux’s touch. He moved his hips as much as he could, which was almost nothing, trying to get the least bit of friction on his hardening cock. He always felt ridiculous when he was doing it alone, imagining himself as a desperate thing trying to get off in the most absurd ways. It was degrading to rub himself against the floor, even more pathetic was that he was getting almost nothing out of it, signaling how _desperate_ he was. He needed Hux for the scene to have true meaning and, when the General was away, he just felt filthy doing it on his own.

Which was exactly what Hux wanted. He knew Kylo would have become so worked up by the time he got back – of course, he was not allowed to come without Hux that night – that he would let go of any trace of dignity just to please Hux all over.

So Hux left Kylo in the dark, just to give him back the light.

 

* * *

 

 

The door to Hux’s quarters slid open not too much time after he left. Kylo hadn’t used the Force to reach out to the General’s mind while he was away, yet, it was simply impossible not to feel the raw energy pulsating from the man who just stepped back into the room. Something had changed, Kylo still didn’t know what.

“Close your eyes and keep them closed” Kylo obeyed instantly before hearing Hux turning the lights on. The General practically stomped into the bedroom, but Kylo’s mind didn’t light up in red as it usually did when he sensed someone else’s anger. The footsteps came to a halt right before his face. He heard the ruffle of fabric, indicating Hux had bowed down next to him. Kylo felt a warmness hanging just above his eyes.

“Open them” when Kylo did as ordered, he could only see the General’s hand covering almost all his field of vision, shielding him from the strong artificial lights cast from above “It seems that my program raised important matters that lacked…” Hux’s voice trailed off. Kylo could do nothing more than wait for him to continue, but he wiggled in his jacket, sensing something was wrong “I came as soon as I could”

Hux had plans to leave Kylo alone for more time, but when his legs began to carry him across the bridge directly back to Kylo, Hux realized something he didn’t want to. It was something he already knew, something both men had already declared to each other. Hux just didn’t want to be aware of the extent to which _it_ had already infected him. He truly understood now what his father had said to him years ago, the only thing to come out of the old man’s mouth that was proven true: _such feelings made Empires fall_.

“You were so good, so good for me” Hux removed his hand from Kylo’s eyes when he though they would be used to the clarity and started working on the straps that bound the other man, his fingers moved fast despite trembling slightly. Meanwhile, Kylo watched him, bewildered. “I’ll get you out” Hux mumbled while unfastening the hogtie and catching Kylo’s ankles so he wouldn’t hurt his back by straightening his legs too fast. Kylo let out a long sigh of relief.

“I’ll get you out but don’t move unless I tell you to” Hux proceeded to Kylo’s ankles and then to his tights, finding the rope humid and wet stripes marking the knight’s pants were the fabric enlaced them. Next was the belt that fixed both his forearms together.

“On your knees, I’ll help you” the General’s mouth almost betrayed him when he held Kylo’s torso firmly, feeling the weight of his lover’s body as he helped him up. Hux held in the soft whimper that came from the first real embrace he gave Kylo that night. The knight sat down on his knees and watched Hux with what seemed like _devotion_ while the General was unbuckling the belts that connected the jacket’s sleeves to his front. His arms were released and carefully unbent at Kylo’s sides, Hux being mindful of how much the man’s shoulders usually ached after such immobilizations.

The jacket was opened and slumped down on the ground when Hux took it off the knight’s shoulders, revealing Kylo’s black top drenched in sweat. As the mittens were removed, Kylo grabbed his tights with his hands, his fingers twitching avidly as he stared at Hux’s lips just inches from his muzzle.

The headpiece was the last thing to be taken off. Kylo involuntarily leaned into Hux’s hand when it brushed against his cheek while undoing the straps. Hux slowly pulled the gag from Kylo’s mouth, a string of drool hanging across the space between them, but the knight’s mouth kept hanging open.

The General took in the image before him, Kylo’s wide eyes staring directly at Hux’s lips, his hair plastered against the skin which was soaked in sweat, the tips of his fingers whitening at how hard he was digging them in his tights not to lose control over them. _He_ had done all those things to Kylo. The man was _shivering_.

“Kylo” Hux called the knight’s attention, they locked eyes and the words poured out through the General’s grinding teeth “Just fucking touch me”

Kylo didn’t hesitate, he could see in Hux’s eyes, he had _showed_ the man something and Hux had showed him something back. Both had been waiting for absolution, for the right time to embrace each other only after they were washed completely _clean_.

But, that night, they grabbed at each other like they had never been afraid of what their hands could do. They explored each other’s bodies as if they had accepted they only needed _permission_ and did not need to dwell on whether such blessing was or not deserved. That night, they hadn’t come clean, every touch stained the other man’s skin and soul, marking them permanently. But, to them, that was alright.

They left the cold bite of the floor and threw themselves on the bed. Both could feel, there was something looming over them, it creeped up behind their backs, the all-consuming haunting that wanted to take _everything_ away from them, e _specially this_.  

So, they didn’t look back.

_It didn’t matter anymore. It did not define them._

The dreadful feeling would eventually come back, as such is the case with ghosts, but nights like those sure helped alleviate the burden.

Each scratch and kiss and bite kept them grounded.

_I know it’s scary to look back, so don’t._

Each spit to moisture a rigid cock and each trail of cum spilling on someone’s belly.

_I’m here now, just look at me, only at me._

Their curled forms that tangled up against each other, untouched by the cold or death or guilt.

_We’ll deal with the Night when it comes. But for now…_

And, finally, their chests waving up and down, one hand buried deep in someone’s hair.

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much welcomed, I really enjoy receiving them and they motivate me to write!
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr or Twitter: @melkorstars


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